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The Dark Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. This is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
Keith W
98.5 SE Sport ATX
Lt. Denim Blue
Other car
'02 3.0 Duratec Taurus wagon
Want some real political discussions? Try
www.freeconservatives.com
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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That is f'n hilarious! I'm saving that for the annals.
2006 Mazdaspeed6
1997 Yamaha YZF1000R Thunderace
1996 Volvo 850-R
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hehehe, I needed a good joke today
Former owner of a 1995 Ford Contour GL w/ 2.0L ATX
Proud owner of a 2005 Ford Taurus SE 3.0L V6 Vulcan
--Looking for Commodore stuff (Drives, Units, Amiga, games, etc)If anyone has any of this laying around and wants it gone, lemme know --
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Man, that is SOOO Red State!
-Auto Mak or-
-Experiment or
-Station Wagon or-
-Computeriz or-
I have a foot that is bigger than a foot.
SuperChipFOR SALE
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4,899
Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
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That's not science, that's crazy talk!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 21,653
I have no life
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I have no life
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Wow, when I show this to my brother, he'll say he already knew about it. He's an ex-coke head by the way. Good find.
98.5 SVT
91 Escort GT (almost sold)
96 ATX Zetec (i brake to watch you swerve)
FS: SVT rear sway bar
WTB: Very cheap beater
CEG Dragon Run - October 13-15
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It's just a joke. Chris and PackRat, lighten up.
Keith W
98.5 SE Sport ATX
Lt. Denim Blue
Other car
'02 3.0 Duratec Taurus wagon
Want some real political discussions? Try
www.freeconservatives.com
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Posts: 4,899
Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
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Originally posted by Keith W: It's just a joke. Chris and PackRat, lighten up.
Don't you mean darken down?
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i read the title and i was prepared for a heavy duty technical discussion.......but alas it was not to be.
00 black/tan svt, #2052 of 2150, born 2/1/00
formerly known as my csvt
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Chris, how is it sooo red state? It's just a funny about light bulbs unless you are some leftist weirdo in a very strange way, which I am begining to think you are.
Keith W
98.5 SE Sport ATX
Lt. Denim Blue
Other car
'02 3.0 Duratec Taurus wagon
Want some real political discussions? Try
www.freeconservatives.com
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