Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 660
D
Veteran CEG\'er
OP Offline
Veteran CEG\'er
D
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 660
Just got this in my email:

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

ORIGINAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

Moral of the story: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others
are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is later found dead in a drug related incident.

The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

Moral of the story: Vote Republican


Hey Tubs, I just lost my jengajam. Your ghetto pass has been revoked. You're no longer an honorary brother.
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 3,290
V
Hard-core CEG\'er
Offline
Hard-core CEG\'er
V
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 3,290
It's even funnier the 300th time


E0 #36 '95 Ranger '82 Honda CX500
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 682
D
Veteran CEG\'er
Offline
Veteran CEG\'er
D
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 682
Republicans eat babies and hate freedom.

Moral of the story: Vote Democrat.


98.5 Contour SVT "Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country" --US President George W Bush
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 750
T
Veteran CEG\'er
Offline
Veteran CEG\'er
T
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 750
I thought it was the republicans who said deficits didn't matter and it's OK to spend the money you didn't earn.

Grasshopper economics...

T.

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,203
P
Hard-core CEG\'er
Offline
Hard-core CEG\'er
P
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,203
Originally posted by DanLeCompte:

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.




Originally posted by Will Ferrell as Pres. Bush:
Retroactive.. which I think means that you'll get money back.. that glows in the dark.




* Marine Officer Candidate * My Cardomain Page 1998 EO Black SVTC #3388
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,713
D
Hard-core CEG'er
Offline
Hard-core CEG'er
D
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,713
This is just a little too far left to even be funny...I'll leave it at that.


Derek Scion xB 5-spd Previous: 2000 Silver Frost SVT Please share the road with cyclists.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,045
J
JB1 Offline
Hard-core CEG\'er
Offline
Hard-core CEG\'er
J
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,045
this is gonna have to be emailed to my family.........good stuff


00 black/tan svt, #2052 of 2150, born 2/1/00 formerly known as my csvt "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 162
P
CEG\'er
Offline
CEG\'er
P
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 162
Luckily the Ant had 70 million in an off shore tax shelter that he doesn't pay taxes on and the goverment can't touch so he never has to work.


Current Family Truckster 98 ZTour ATX
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,812
F
Hard-core CEG'er
Offline
Hard-core CEG'er
F
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,812
Meanwhile, the rest of the insect world suffers because the ant and grasshopper are so blinded by their biased belief systems that nothing ever gets accomplished because of their unwillingness to work with each other.

Vote Libertarian.


1999 Black SVT "If I were an admin I'd ban you without a second thought. " ~Trapps

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5