Post your Wife or S/O funnies

Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives

My wife and I will be married 7 years this September and I was reflecting on some of the funniest things that her or I have done or said thoughout the years. This one particular story came to mind....

We were at an NBA game in our first year of marriage and Kevin Garnett made a power move in the lane and HAMMERED a jam on Brendan Haywood's head. The whistle blows and I yell YEAH! AND ONE!!!

Enter my wife looking around left to right, while standing up..... "Where, where is he? Anwan , which team does he play for?

I still laugh to this day.

To my wife's credit, it was her first game plus she's from London, but still...

Not a really funny story behind this, just really bored driving through Nevada. I just get a smirk every time I look at this picture of my fiance.

like this thread??

we had fun in that one

This acctually happened last night.

I got home for work around 10:30 she's sleeping. So I climb in to bed touch her on accident, I don't want to wake her up. Well She wakes up still in a dream state slaps me and tells be to "stop F#(@ing the barbie doll!", Then went back to sleep

Well anyway after my face stoped tingling I thought it was funny.â�?�

Originally posted by FFE:

This acctually happened last night.

I got home for work around 10:30 she's sleeping. So I climb in to bed touch her on accident, I don't want to wake her up. Well She wakes up still in a dream state slaps me and tells be to "stop F#(@ing the barbie doll!", Then went back to sleep

Well anyway after my face stoped tingling I thought it was funny.â�?�

I hope you don't keep any sharp objects on your nighttable.

My wife and I were at the MSU vs UofM game a couple years ago. My wife understands football fairly well. But after about the 20th time the anouncer said "Smokers pass complete to......." My wife finally leaned over and asked me "what's a Smokers pass?" I had to explain to her that the quarterbacks name was Jeff Smoker.

My wife farted so loud in her sleep that it woke her up. She sat up and looked at me and asked "was that thunder?" and then immediately went back to sleep.

Originally posted by TexasRealtor:
My wife farted so loud in her sleep that it woke her up. She sat up and looked at me and asked "was that thunder?" and then immediately went back to sleep.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Originally posted by CarpePoon:
My wife and I were at the MSU vs UofM game a couple years ago. My wife understands football fairly well. But after about the 20th time the anouncer said "Smokers pass complete to......." My wife finally leaned over and asked me "what's a Smokers pass?" I had to explain to her that the quarterbacks name was Jeff Smoker.

straight from my parts...Lancaster, PA

I got the chance to watch him play a couple times in highschool for Manhiem Central.

Originally posted by Spyderman:

Originally posted by CarpePoon:
My wife and I were at the MSU vs UofM game a couple years ago. My wife understands football fairly well. But after about the 20th time the anouncer said "Smokers pass complete to......." My wife finally leaned over and asked me "what's a Smokers pass?" I had to explain to her that the quarterbacks name was Jeff Smoker.

straight from my parts...Lancaster, PA

I got the chance to watch him play a couple times in highschool for Manhiem Central.

Did you get to watch him snort some yayo too?

*Enter Dave and/or Pete on defense*

These aren't super funny or anything. More of a you have to see it kind of funny.

My husband is evil in his sleep.
He's got the jimmy arms. Anyone who watches Seinfeld knows what I'm talking about.

I've been punched in the mouth before.

Another time, he had his hand above my head, and suddenly the jimmies kicked in, so he started tapping my skull like he was a morse code operator.

I usually wake up thinking "wtf a-hole!", but then I remember I sleep next to jimmy, so I chuckle and mumble for him to roll over. Then we have a good laugh about it in the morning.

Another humorous he-hurt-me story was when we were walking and he pinched one of my asscheeks. He managed to get his boney little fingers in between the muscles somehow and my whole ass clenched up and I couldn't get the muscles to relax afterward for the longest time.
The pinch from hell! That hurt, but it was funny in that Americas Funniest Home Videos kind of way.

So every now and then, he'll either pretend to come at me with morse code fingers or lobster pinchers because hurting your spouse is obviously humorous.
I laugh anyway.

Originally posted by frenchblueC2:
I've been punched in the mouth before.

No comment.

Originally posted by Doppelg�?¤nger:

Originally posted by frenchblueC2:
I've been punched in the mouth before.

No comment.

you just did comment

you can comment all you want, doesn't bother me.
Plus I have no authority in this forum anymore, so have at it.

Kim, that kinda defeats the "no motion transfer" of the Tempurpedic, don't it?

Originally posted by bishop375:
Kim, that kinda defeats the "no motion transfer" of the Tempurpedic, don't it?

yeah that's why kingsize is important.
You sleep over there - way over! get away from me!

Everyone knows my fiance (Kim's) funnies.....all you gotta do is get some liquor and stare......and she will laugh and snort!

SZ05!

Originally posted by EVOLUTION VIII:
Everyone knows my fiance (Kim's) funnies.....all you gotta do is get some liquor and stare......and she will laugh and snort! SZ05!

dont forget the sleep walking and throwing ketchup at mark.
LOL

Originally posted by striker2:

Originally posted by EVOLUTION VIII:
Everyone knows my fiance (Kim's) funnies.....all you gotta do is get some liquor and stare......and she will laugh and snort! SZ05!

dont forget the sleep walking and throwing ketchup at mark.
LOL

That was the funniest ever!

Originally posted by frenchblueC2:

Plus I have no authority in this forum anymore, so have at it.

Woah - when did that happen????

I went shopping with a couple of friends that were recently married; my wife and I have been good friends of the wife we went shopping with since college. Anyway our friend is notorious for saying stupid things/comments/questions that are totally off the wall.

Anyway, we were at Best Buy and were looking at a washer/dryer set and the sales guy is trying to sell them on the front-load washer. Right before we were about to leave our friends wife says, "Well what happens if your kid crawls into the washer and gets trapped and you go on vacation?" Between the horrified look on her husbands face and the confusion of the Sales guy I could not hold in my laughter! To this day I am still not completely sure what it was she was trying to ask...

OK, Same friend different situation. In college we took a snowboarding class. While we were riding the lift up the hill we were looking at the stars since the skies were so clear. She turns to me and says "Hey look there's mars!" I say where? I don't see it? She insists that it's right there and is bright red, how could I not see it? I look hard and to no avail I can't find it anywhere, I see bright stars, but definitely nothing resembling a red star. Sure enough I look over and she still has her red tinted ski goggles on!

Once my wife and I were headed to a Renaissance fair and my wife (g/f at the time) was complaining that we were lost and that I needed to turn around. Well just as she went to take a sip of water out of her Nalgene bottle (with the 3inch opening)I see the turn and slam on the brakes from a 55mph roll! Needless to say the water came rushing out of the bottle with and all over her face and shirt! She was not too happy at the time, but we laugh about it now.

Originally posted by snakous:
Did you get to watch him snort some yayo too?
*Enter Dave and/or Pete on defense*

Haha...I'm sure, he was a big pothead and is actually cousins with a close friend of mine. But isn't everyone cousins in Amish Country

Well don't you respond at the speed of a 3 toed sloth?