Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests engagement help

so i've been kicking around proposing to my gf for quite awhile and have been leaning towards her 30th bday on May 2nd. Her father has his official inauguration as Chancellor of University of Wisconsin- Milwaukee that weekend and we will be traveling out there for that. I dont want to steal his thunder as it's a big day and time for him. At the same time I think that this might also really make it an even more special weekend for him and their entire family. What do you guys think?

Secondly, what can I expect to pay for a ring? The old 2 months salary that DeBeers preaches would put me around 7k dollars, but i dont think I can afford that with bills that I have and the fact that I'm going back to school. Also, I took a course in college that really made me leery of debeers and the sheistyness that goes on with them so they can go to hell. I am thinking maybe around half of that. What can I expect to pay for a ring??? Also, my aunt told me that my grandmother who passed away has some rings that I could possibly get reset with a diamond so that will save me a little bit. HELP ME OUT FOLKS!!!

Don't worry about a ring, just give her a pearl necklace.

DO NOT propose the same weekend as the inauguration. You would be stealing the show from her dad, and whether he acknowledges it or admits it, it will bother him. That would be cheating the family and, ultimately, yourself.

As for the ring, I'm all about spending as much as you possibly can. She will have it for the rest of her life and you will only regret it if you skimp out on it now (adding onto it later, which a lot of people do, is incredibly tacky). Plus, the bigger the ring, the further away other dudes will stay.

I wouldn't do it the same weekend as her dad's getting sworn in as chancellor. You would be stealing his thunder and that wouldn't be a good thing, imo. On the other hand, some family members would be around and that would be kinda cool. It all depends on what your preference is. Just you two or lotsa family around? Also, traditionally you should go with the two months salary, but it would be pretty cool if you could get her grandmas ring reset. Is she very traditional? That would be a factor in that decision. Well, that's just my 2cents. Good luck and hope it helps!

95% of the cost of a ring is the diamond. And resetting can cost a bit and you're confined to the cut that makes sense with the band. So resetting an existing ring probably won't save you anything unless there's a wholesale gem place near you that sells just diamonds and good prices. You'd probably be a lot better off with just buying a ring. Resetting is great if the band has sentimental value. I wouldn't consider it otherwise.

And, no, I wouldn't do the whole "2 Months Salary" thing. For many of us that's far too much money. About half of that should be more than enough and you can get a very nice ring for $2000 (less if you really wanted), particularly this time of the year. You'd be pressed to find a ring in most mainstream jewelry stores that even cost 2 months of your salary anyhow.

What you can "expect" purely depends on what you want. I wouldn't spend less than about $1750 but if you're next to a Tiffany's or something you could spend 2 months salary pretty easily. Only you know what you can afford, but if I was you, I'd be looking in the $2500-3000 range.

I appreciate the advice so far, let me add some more info.

I wouldn't be showing up and asking her dad for her hand and then proposing. I plan to talk to her dad about it in advance and then doing it that weekend. Also, keep in mind that it is her B-day weekend and it will be her 30th bday

My GF is very traditional in some ways. She is also freaking out a bit about turning 30 and not being married and about having kids. I am 100% positive that this would be the best gift that I could ever give her in my life.

I live in NYC so the diamond district is an option to which i have heard mixed reviews. Also I have been looking on blue nile and dirt cheap diamonds.com and seem to be finding nice stones for under 3grand.

I wouldn't buy a diamond from any place named "Dirt Cheap Diamonds" But Blue Nile does have some incredible stones. And, as you've seen, you'd have to buy a HUGE rock to blow $7,000.

If I had spent 2 months pay on a ring, not only would it look horrible on my wife's finger (she's only a ring size 3, a decent $7000 diamond would be bigger than her finger) but she'd kill me when she found out I spent that much on a ring when there were others she liked for half that.

First thing to do is to find some magazines that talk about the problems with DeBeers and diamonds in general and casually make sure that you read them together. After reading them mention how after reading that you do not think you would be able to live with yourself if you ever bought a diamond so if you ever proposed you would want to go with (insert other pretty stone here) hope that the girl agrees with you about how mean and nasty DeBeers is and wants to go with something else and lets you know what type of stone she wants.

Enjoy all the extra money you have from not buying a diamond.

http://archive.salon.com/business/feature/2000/09/27/diamonds/

http://www.mises.org/econsense/ch91.asp

http://brysonburke.com/price_debeers_cartel.html