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my "friends"

maybe i should elaborate.

people are so self absorbed, shallow and superficial. i have noticed that all people really care about is themselves. most of the time i harldy have a good time with my "friends" and isnt that part of having friends? it also seems that i need to try to find a common interest with people that i used to consider my friends. so there is crappy/ pointless conversations anyways. then when i go to large functions or parties i notice that people are so fake and dont really care about anyone. there are stoopid cliches and 15 groups of 3 or 4 people. then durring these "fun" parties all there is a drama and crying and more stupid stuff going on. blah blah blah
Then is i ever hang out with anyone im usually calling or texting to see. except one person i hardly ever see due to our schedules conflicting. Or like today, i called this one person i have been "friends" with since i moved to NY, asked if she wanted to hang out downtown. She saiid yes, but never came and i got no phone call saying she was not.
along those lines, my "friends" cant really be counted on for anything. if i have a problem i cant relly talk to anyone. i usually call me cousin. but sometimes i feel like hes obligated to listen and give me advice(since im his younger cuz) and i feel sorta bad about calling him. anyways, ill listen to my friends and try to help with their problems, is asking them to return that favor too much?
so... apparently i have realized that i dont really have true friends. and it seems that it is hard to find true friends... from what i have head from others.
so is it sad that i have had more fun camping with people that i have never met than haging out with people i have considerd friends for a few years? and should i just stop trying with these people that i consider my frineds?
 
A clear sign that either you're maturing, or just that your common interests are moving away from what used to pass for friends and associates. It's not uncommon. We all change over time. Some people mature and develop, and some stay the same longer. Your interests may change, and what brought you together as friends in the past is no longer viable with your new interests.

Don't fret. Relish the opportunity to grow and develop. Seek out new acquientences in your current interest grouping. Don't just drop your old friends, but if you say "Hey, let's go camping" and they pass, then go anyway. Pretty soon you'll find yourself on a different path than they are and will just grow apart naturally.
 
Mike, you seem to have found a harsh, but true, fact of life. I found this out firsthand, also. Not to get too personal, but I know when I had to stop drinking, all those "friends" that were so fun to drink with suddenly had very little time for me, at least until their cars broke. :rolleyes: One in particular, I have known for about 15 years or so. I was there for the birht of his son, he came on vacation with us, hung out all the time, etc. Once i no longer drank, he began to come around less and less. Whether I'm not as fun sober ( :laugh:), or I make him insecure about his own drinking habits, I still feel sad that he doesn't come around as much.

I do have several friends that have stayed close, any many that would drop anything and lend a hand (Ryan helping out with my daughters haunted house comes to mind. :cool:) These are the people I know I can count on, and as such, they become more valuable as other "friends" show their true worth. If you have one or two truly good friends, you may find that will be enough. HTH.
 
Scorpion8 said:
A clear sign that either you're maturing
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very true...

throughout the years, friends will come and go...it's a normal process every person goes through as they develop and become more autonomous. Don't ever think you will stop making new friends that may turn out to be closer than the ones you've made during childhood.
 
I figured I'd show my face for your thread Mike.

getsum111 said:
If you have one or two truly good friends, you may find that will be enough. HTH.
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Quality over quantity is always going to be the best way to describe friendships throughout life.

Back in high school I had a plethora of friends (read: way too many), but as of today out of all the people I knew in high school...I only have at least 3 solid friendships left. The point is, out of ALL of the friends you have a problem with right now...which one (or two) can you actually turn to right now. I have a feeling they will be the type of friend that's going to be around for a very long time to come.

I doubt anything I typed is coherent...so take what you can get from it.
 
Scorpion8 said:
but if you say "Hey, let's go camping" and they pass, then go anyway.
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sounds like a good plan!

Pen_Two said:
Quality over quantity is always going to be the best way to describe friendships throughout life.
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agreed!

Pen_Two said:
The point is, out of ALL of the friends you have a problem with right now...which one (or two) can you actually turn to right now. I have a feeling they will be the type of friend that's going to be around for a very long time to come.
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yeah, but the thing is... i really have no one to turn to. again, except my cousin. but i feel bad about that because i feel that since he is my older cousin( and i have no older bro) that he is obligated to give me advice and what not.
 
CRGkart44 said:
...but i feel bad about that because i feel that since he is my older cousin( and i have no older bro) that he is obligated to give me advice and what not.
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No one is obligated to give you any help except that dude in the mirror. Ask him if he minds, first off. And so far as asking for advice, these forums are excellent places because often a stranger who is not intimate with your problem may see thinsg entirely different than anyone who is "closely involved" would.
 
thats true.

i know i could count on CEG. which i think is sorta sad. i should be able to turn to someone i actually know.

i also think its really sad that i can have more fun with Scott, Ryan, and Scott at carlisle than i can here in toga. not that they arent cool people, cause they are. jsut that, i just met them. idk.


anyways... any one else have a similiar sitituation.... waht didi you do?
 
CRGkart44 said:
i know i could count on CEG. which i think is sorta sad. i should be able to turn to someone i actually know.
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Not really. This is an extended community, just like the audio forums I haunt. There are people there that I'll never meet, same as here. But I can talk about my hopes and dreams and loves lost and errors of my ways and they'll tell me good advice or tell me to get my head out of my arse. And at the end of the day we all go our seperate ways anyway. And more importantly, at the end of the day I have to live with the decisions I make, not them.

Good friends are to be treasured. And they're not handed out like candy.

Similar situations? I'm a military brat. Never been in any one place more than 3 years from being born until I retired from the military myself. So mostly I learned to rely on myself, have fun by myself, and do what I want to when I want to regardless if anyone wants to tag along. They get invited, but I don't base my life around them.
 
CRGkart44 said:
i also think its really sad that i can have more fun with Scott, Ryan, and Scott at carlisle than i can here in toga. not that they arent cool people, cause they are. jsut that, i just met them. idk.


Well, we do happen to be the three coolest people on the planet!!!:laugh:

Seriously, it may be the fact that, speaking for myself, I have been through more than many people, which changes my perspective on things. I don't try to be cool (hell, I drive a contour :laugh:), and don't try to impress people with who I wish I were. With me, what you see is what you get, take it or leave it. If you don't like it, feel free to walk the plank.

http://imageshack.us/thumbnail.png[/IMG]
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getsum111 said:
Well, we do happen to be the three coolest people on the planet!!!:laugh:
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well... duh.

getsum111 said:
Seriously, it may be the fact that, speaking for myself, I have been through more than many people, which changes my perspective on things. I don't try to be cool (hell, I drive a contour :laugh:), and don't try to impress people with who I wish I were. With me, what you see is what you get, take it or leave it. If you don't like it, feel free to walk the plank.

http://imageshack.us/thumbnail.png[/IMG]
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haha... you do drive a contour you lame ass.

and next time i want to tell someone to eff off. im simply going to tell them to walk the plank. hahaha.


as for the link... it just took my to the imageshack homepage:shrug:
 
hey friend :)
Good-Friends-Are-Like-Stars-Magnet-.jpg
 
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