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Not too Happy about it but....

He's 18 as well. At this point she is realizing she won't be able to support the child so adoption might be an option. As I type this I have mixed feelings. :confused:
 
ctmystique said:
He's 18 as well. At this point she is realizing she won't be able to support the child so adoption might be an option. As I type this I have mixed feelings. :confused:
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I would have mixed feelings also. On one hand there are some signs of responsibility how ever after the fact they maybe. However giving the child up seems like an unnaturally thing to do and maybe a way to get out of that responsibility. But it can also be seen as responsible in the fact that it could be giving the child the best life possible and that could be the bottom line.
 
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well it sems that you are handling it well considering. I'm definately with you on not wanting to give knowing a grandchild..... maybe if adoption is the way some one in your family or yourself could as to not lose out on that opportunity... just a thought and as you have a lot to process... remember you do have 8 months or so to decide... I konw with two daughters of my own these thoughts cross my mind... what if? but you never know until you are there. God Bless
 
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Wow man, thats tough. Sorry to hear about this...there is some options out there though:

Log on to your local states site (its Michigan.gov here) and check into state help for her. My girlfriend babysits for a young couple and she (my girlfriend) gets paid from the state. The state also pays for education for the one kid who is in early 5's (I think that's what its called) and pays for the food and diapers for the baby (who is 16 months). The state also pays for the their rent on their house and part of their insurance. The parents of the kids work as a waiter and a bartender at a local restaurant. I'm sure if they can get the help, your daughter can too. Good luck!
EDIT: another thing is that the state will help young mothers and fathers with college too so that is on her side too.
Here are a few websites I found for you to look at.

http://www.ctcare4kids.com/
Another site for you- http://www.ct.gov/agingservices/cwp/view.asp?a=2513&q=313054
I dunno if she has healthcare or not but this is for preg. women and children- http://www.ct.gov/dss/cwp/view.asp?a=2353&q=305218#HealthyStart
 
ctmystique said:
I was more refering to whether I could give up knowing one of my grandchildren.
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good point. that didn't cross my mind this morning. But I would have to say it would all depend on how the adoption goes. I would have to believe in a case like this where the child is vulutarily given up and depending on the adopting family that the connection wouldn't be cut off completely. I could see the connection being cut off if a child was abandoned or forcibly removed and them adoption occured.

One question I would ask about this is: is this feeling of giving up knowing one of your grandchildren because it will be the your first one or the importance of knowing family, having a close family, etc.
 
Matt R said:
How old is she? Pursue statutory rape changes against the father if she's young enough.
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:nonono: LMAO terrible idea...my sister went through the same thing. dont be a jerk to the guy your daughter is just as much at fault. if she likes the guy being a jerk to him would push both of them away. sit down man to man tell him to take responsibility make sure he graduates high school and gets a job. don't just accept and support your daughter here make sure the father stays in her life and the kids life.

Seriously?! statutory rape charges WTF?!?:help:
 
Matt R said:
How old is she? Pursue statutory rape changes against the father if she's young enough.
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frenchblueC2 said:
she's 18, and the father is in high school.
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ctmystique said:
He's 18 as well. At this point she is realizing she won't be able to support the child so adoption might be an option. As I type this I have mixed feelings. :confused:
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tredsvt98 said:
:nonono: LMAO terrible idea...my sister went through the same thing. dont be a jerk to the guy your daughter is just as much at fault. if she likes the guy being a jerk to him would push both of them away. sit down man to man tell him to take responsibility make sure he graduates high school and gets a job. don't just accept and support your daughter here make sure the father stays in her life and the kids life.

Seriously?! statutory rape charges WTF?!?:help:
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Might help if you read the whole thread. I don't need any knee jerk reactions. And believe me if the circumstances warranted it I would persue that avenue.
 
I can understand your hesitation for the adoption avenue.
I know it'd definitely bug me to know that someone carrying my genes was out there, and I had zero contact with them. That would be very tough to deal with.

I don't envy your predicament, and I wish there was something I could do/say to help you through it all. :(
 
yeah i read the whole thread. it just upsets me when 2 people create a child and don't take care of it. they both had a part in making it they should both be responsible and take care of it.
 
What is all this "Go get state aid BS"

She should either tough it out with hard work or get aid from those people that love her... aka family.

State aid should be the last resort.
 
Barge said:
What is all this "Go get state aid BS"

She should either tough it out with hard work or get aid from those people that love her... aka family.

State aid should be the last resort.
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X2 if she needs state aid it should definitely be a last resort but it is still an option. the first option should be work hard herself or have family help it's rediculous that this is even an "adoption" issue. it happens all the time to people take some responsibility and man up
 
because she works if you work hard why freeload off of the state its just lazy get a full time job (the father too) and work if you still need the money after your paychecks then take it but at least make an effort:shrug:
 
loc0gring0 said:
y not take the free money the state gives out?? you pay taxes for it so you not use it??
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because some of us work hard for what we have and think that other should also :shrug:


as a last resort sure.


I am sure there are better things taxes can be used for first then just giving it to people that are lazy and don't want to work for what they want.
 
Ya but she still has to get an education (which should be first in her book) and that ish is not cheap. Even a CC college is still expensive. I say she should look into help especially at such a young age. I see nothing wrong with it.
 
I feel that if she is going to stay in school and pursue further education to get a good job, then she DESERVES state aid. Andy makes a good point in that Roger and his family probably pay a good deal of taxes, and in his daughter's current situation, there should be some bit that they deserve back. I mean, it's not there to camp on and to live off, but it's there to help you through times of need. I'm sure if she is responsible enough, she will know to practice safer sex and to keep from getting preggo. Having a kid is major bucks!
 
starjammir said:
Ya but she still has to get an education (which should be first in her book) and that ish is not cheap. Even a CC college is still expensive. I say she should look into help especially at such a young age. I see nothing wrong with it.
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my sister has a kid works and goes to college it's not impossible you just cant be lazy
 
Starjammir stop being a liberal browneye licker.

NO state aid! keep her in school! make the father go to school during the day and work all night!
 
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